subtafuge.com

Scam artist on Facebook – Part 1

So, I got a message from someone in my Facebook inbox the other day, someone I don't know and who isn't in my Friends list. This was the message:

Evette:

Hello
t's nice to come across your profile, I was bored so I decided to read through some profiles to get myself busy. I think I like what im reading from your profile so far and i would love to know more about you. I hope to hear from you soon

It looked like an obvious spam/scam type script. I was a bit bored, so I responded:

Me:

Hi Evette. Where are you from?

The reply I got to this was what made it pretty damn obvious that this was just your typical Nigerian scam in a different guise:

Evette:

Hey Shaun....

How are you doing today good i guess anyway I'm doing fine here as well...I just want to tell you more about me.I will like to get to know all about you as well.. Here are some More about Me,I am a single female never married and have No Kids,am ready for serious relationship but looking for a true love we could be the one of my heart after i receive your reply.I am new on this Online dating stuffs,Cos a friend of mine introduce it to me.. Have been Hurt many times and I have a lot of experience in relationship, But I don't want to Get Hurt anymore cos it was a very Bad thing ever Happen...When dating or getting to know someone for the first time I reflect to a quote form one of my favorite movies "Hope Floats", "Little scary at first...little sad in the end....but it's what's in the middle that counts"Now I guess a question will come to your mind(Why is she Single)isn't it...ok ok,I used to have a boyfriend but I broke up with him,I caught him on bed with my best close friend,you know how that is,it's a SHOCK,lol. and thats Make me Feel Sad and I dont think I can be Love anymore. But I have to give things a try Just to know where it will lead to...so this led me to break up with him,was I right by that decision???I seek for a complete honest man,who will come home to me,love me,adore me,a strong man with a strong heart who will want our relationship to last forever,a compassionate man,one with good heart and know how to handle matters,I want a lover not a fighter,lol I am committed life to living to the fullest and in growing as a person...My family has always been very caring and supportive of my dreams and ambitions that I have challenged myself with.I was born in NY, My dad is from U.s and My Mum is from Nigeria,I don't know the Relatives of my Father cos I choose to the Citizen of Nigeria,I do Live with My Parent in States and we Live in a Happily Family..I lost my father last month so my mother was full of sorrow and thinking about is lost husband so i decided to take her down to Nigeria to my granny for more and nice caring on me getting there my mom was so sick and she is at the hospital right now.... I have to Plan my Future and Have a Stable Life.i will be coming back to the state anytime soon, just want to find someone nice before i come because im ready to sacrifice myself the right man not the wrong man and make me happy.Still studying,I am Searching for a Job.. I do Study Accounting and I have My masters degree in it.. I believe In God and I have faith that with Him all things are Possible, Am looking for a man that can make me happy and be there for me through thick and thin and that can help me find the treasure that i have lost and will see me through all my ups and down, a man that is loving caring,understanding,that will respect my opinion and most of all that play the game of love...I am Looking for a real and serious relationship that will last for ever... I believe that Distance is Nothing But Love Matters Most to me....Its a pretty good here in Lagos, Nigeria anyway but its a little bit sunny and I dont have Choice had to live here like that.My wants and needs are distinguished. "I have never seen a Hurst with a trailer hitch"!!! I live each day to its fullest so I know I've lived a fulfilled life. I know it's important to have the things that make you happy and I strive each day productively to achieve those things..The most incredible thing is find someone to cherish those things together.. Walking this life together not in front or behind each other but, side by side each other as a team (as I know there is no "I" in team)!!I will never steal, cheat or lie!!! However, .. I will always evaluate every situation and apply it to what I have already learned and never make the same mistake twice!!!I want to find that special Man that I can love,trust, be caring, compassionate and romantic with.. Someone who will treat me the way I treat Him. Be the answer to someone's prayers and to care for that person any place or anytime. A love that I can't live without!!!I wear my heart on my sleeve and will never cover it up no matter how many times it may hang there broken. I always walk through life by faith/hope and not by sight!!!!SORRY MY MAIL IS MEEK..I wasn't sure how to elaborate about myself I envisioned myself opening hundreds of email from Man who think I'm their catch. I am picky about who I open myself up to. I have a good feeling about you!!! , upon your request and respond to you how ever often you like.Hmmmm I guess enough is being said about me.That's all what I can say for now and I will be Looking to hear back from you so I can answer the Questions I ask from you in return... I cant wait to hear back from you and Knows where this will lead to.... Thank you and have a Nice Moment..p.s: Please send me some pics of you if you got any then i will send mine back
Evette Cares..

Kisses

So, she says "Still studying,I am Searching for a Job.. I do Study Accounting and I have My masters degree in it". Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Now I don't know very much about the American education system, but surely somone who was born in America, who studied in America, and who has a Masters degree, would be able to speak a bit better English than this.

Now that I knew for sure that this was a scammer, I thought I would have a little fun.

Me:

Hello again Evette,

It was superlatively spanktastic that you have replied to me! I much enjoyed your egregious ramblings.

You must tell me more about your current situation, as I find it most interesting. How did your father die? Did it happen in Nigeria? How is your mother coping? How are you coping?

I am intrigued about what this means: "I have never seen a Hurst with a trailer hitch". It sound intriguing. I am intrigued like I almost never have been intrigued before.

Your mail isn't meek at all. I thought it showed especially well, how good your education was. You must feel blessed and most fortunate to have the opportunity to go to University.

I too am looking for love. There are many times I thought I found love, but it was fleeting, and it slipped my grasp. (perhaps this was due to the copious amounts of lubrication?).

It is terrible that you found your husband to be cheating with your best friend. Are you still friends?

Tell me more about Nigeria, it sounds like a beautiful land. I have been told it is the Land of the Rising Sun.

Looking forward to your reply,
Captain Shaun

p.s. I would love to see some pictures of you! I will send you some of me soon too

I thought for sure this person would figure out that I am merely taking the piss, but no, I get another block of (scripted) text:

Evette:

How are you doing?. Hope you are cool and having a nice time. Thanks for writing me back...It a painful day when i was called that my dad is died in a motor accident it was a big sorrow for me cos am the only child my parent and i really love my parent so much..My mom is not really good right now cos she in the hospital right now and i have been spending on her since am here in Nigeria and i will like you to know that Nigeria is not good for me cos am all here just becos of my sick mom and as soon as she get better i will be back to the state but if this work out i will like to relocate to you there..Am not a friend with him anymore cos he really hurt me so much cos he promise to be there for me and he never do..Here is about my last relationship. I have been in different relationship which never work for me, Have been Jilted, cheated even i was beaten, Have been in 2 difference relationship, I've never have a long relationship always ends in fighting or quarrels. I believe in whom i am, who i call myself and always ready to love, care and understand the mood and feelings of my man but i was never treated the same way, I never had a kids in my life not that i have some effect which can never make me had kids, but i don't want to have an unwanted pregnancy. I guess i have wrote enough about my last relationship. First of all, I need a soul mate that would fill me, who would become my passionate and tender lover, my devoted and caring husband. I believe we should be much similar. I'm looking for a Soul mate man who wants the best attributes and who will always want the best in a relationships, Who wants the same in a relationship like, Caring,Loving,Honest,Trust worthy. A Man who wants to have a long relationship for the rest of his life, who wants to have kids and who wants to make everything easier for her woman. A man who will want the Reality to come true instead of Being into games,fakes and lie. A man who believes in who he is and a man who will be ready to be serious. I want him to love life, to be sincere, goal-oriented and gentle. It is not needed that my future beloved should be a prince on a white horse or a millionaire. I need strong real man who can keep and love me. Man who want to be the one for me. I am looking for a life companion, who will be my support and a shoulder I may lean on. He must be caring, loving, tender, generous and financially independent. I want him to love children, be faithful and responsible. Also he must respect family values. I am looking for a man who can be a stone wall for little me. I don't ask him to protect and support me all the time? I want us to be loving team. Friends and lovers who know what their beloved on wants. I hope to find man who is strong enough to look into the future and who is not afraid of family life. Sense of humor, cheerfulness and responsibility are the features I would like my man to have. From my side I can promise the same? What I take that I give!. I'd like to find well educated and intelligent person. But of course the main is what he has in his heart, his soul. I'd like him to be serious in his views on the life. I want him to be kind, caring and to have good qualities for creating strong family relations. Please take some time to write me about your last relationship and what you are looking for...I will like you to know am having some lil problem with my facebook account so i will like you to know that i cant add more pics for you on here i will like you to give me your email address so i can send that to you through your email via.. Have a nice time and take some time to write me back. Thanks.

Evette Cares

Kisses.

Yep, I am sure Evette Cares a whole bunch. The thing is, I thought by now the scammer would be pushing there agenda, but nothing blatent yet. My guess is that eventually I will be asked to send money to help free up funds from America... Anyway, for the moment I will carry on having my fun:

Me:

Hi Evette,

Your email brightened my day with all the brightness of a goatse in the full glare of the sun.

You are very particular in your laundry list of things that your man should be. It is good to find a woman who knows what she wants. I too am someone who knows what he wants. I want a woman who knows how to strip down a M41 rifle with her eyes closed, while singing God Save The Queen. My woman needs to know how to cook...and make sammiches....mmm, I love me some sammiches. I also want a woman who can speak Jive...you dig?

Of course love is also very important. I want a woman who will love me unconditionally. Even when my sever acne problems flare up, she should be there to wipe the gunk off my face. And when I flatulate in bed, she should smile and commend me on a job well done (a rating out of 10 is optional).

All in all, I am not a sophisticated man. I work hard for my money Although I don't really need to. I inherited millions of dollars from a rich uncle who died in New York last year.

Anyway, I hope to hear from you again soon!

My email address is xxxxxxxxxxx@gmail.com
I would love to get some pictures of you.

from,
Captain Shaun

I set up a dummy email account that I sent her above (whatever you do, don't give out your real email address to these people!). I also thought I would add the line about inheriting money from a rich Uncle as a bit more bait for the scammer. I keep trying to get more ridiculous with each reply. Still, the scammer either doesn't understand what I am saying, or they are just plain stupid. (I am going for a bit of both). I get this response the next day

Evette:

Hi Shaun,
I am hoping to get to always hear from you. Whew!!! It's pretty cool here. I'm think I better try and get used to weather out here, so how have you been?? You have been the number one in my thoughts, all I could talk about was you. Whatever I do your name keep ringing in my head. Baby I want to talk to you and know more about you. I hope this will take us to the next level and we could build a relationship that will last forever. Distance between us does not bother me as I know we would meet, I liked reading your mails and all I read about it was awesome; it will be my pleasure to get to know more about you Anyway I've made up some questions for you, and I'm waiting for your answer as well not that i didn't know some answers to some question i am just trying to know more. I told mom about you and she says hi, Here is the Questions.

1. What do you do for a living?
2. What do you seek for in a relationship?
3. What are the basic qualities you seek for in a lady?
4. What sort of relationship you seek for?
5. What interests you?
6. Got kids?
7. Do you smoke?
8. Do you drink?
9. What your favorite food?
10. Do you have any siblings?
11. What is your favorite color?
12. When you meet a lady, what are the first things you look for in her?
13. What type of music you listen too?
14. Would you call yourself romantic?
15. What would be your idea of a perfect date?
16. Would you have a problem relocating if a relationship became more?
17. What do you drive?
18. Do you have any pets?
19. Do you live alone?
20. Do you live in house/apartments?
21. What do you do in your free time?
22. What is your favorite holiday?
23. Do you have any family here?
24. What has been the saddest moment of your life?
25. How many relationship have you been in?
26. In the relationships you have been in, do you ever think about what they are doing in there life now?
27. Do you consider yourself very sexual?
28. What has been the craziest thing you have ever done?
29. What do you do for fun?
30. Do you like public intimacy?
31. How long have you been married?
32. What's being married like?
33. How do you treat your lady?
34. Why do you need a lady?
35. What is love to you?
36. Would you hit your lady for any reasons?

I'll hopefully want to know what your consent is about these questions.
I want to get to know you and meet you...Just sent you the pics of me and my mom pics right now and i hope you like them..

Thinking of you,

Evette Cares

Kisses.

She did in fact send pictures (5 of them. 3 of just "her", 1 of "her" and a friend, and 1 of "her" mother). I am not going to post them here, because they are most likely pictures of some innocent girl that this scammer has gone and hijacked.

This is how I replied this evening

Me:

Hi Evette,

It was great to get your email and your pictures which are of you. I would love for you to send me more pictures, of you in Nigeria would be great!

I will answer your questions:

1. What do you do for a living?
By day, I am a reporter.

2. What do you seek for in a relationship?
I am looking for my true love.

3. What are the basic qualities you seek for in a lady?
Well, I have already said in a previous message what basic qualities I seek from a lady. Another quality I like is a LADY THAT LISTENS TO ME THE FIRST TIME I SAY SOMETHING DAMMIT!

4. What sort of relationship you seek for?
I want an open relationship.

5. What interests you?
String, I really love string. I collect it. Any size or colour. I don't like it when there is a knot in the string, so I don't keep string that I can't get the knot out of. But if I can get the knot out, then I keep it. I have a big display cabinet which I hope to fill up one day. Do you have any string for me that you don't need anymore? And cheese, I really like cheese.

6. Got kids?
I once had a puppy. Does that count?

7. Do you smoke?
No

8. Do you drink?
Of course I drink, I would die of dehydration if I didn't.

9. What your favorite food?
Steak

10. Do you have any siblings?
I have a sister, she likes crayons

11. What is your favorite color?
Red and blue and green and orange and purple and yellow.

12. When you meet a lady, what are the first things you look for in her?
Honesty

13. What type of music you listen too?
Pantera and Ace of Base

14. Would you call yourself romantic?
Absolutely. This one time, I had a girlfriend, and it was her birthday. And she really wanted a baby sheep for her birthday. So that night I treated her to lamb chops. I don't think she was as romantic as me though, because she didn't appreciate my gift. Bitch.

15. What would be your idea of a perfect date?
Angelina Jolie

16. Would you have a problem relocating if a relationship became more?
No, I wouldn't have a problem at all. I feel like you are really honest, and honesty is something I really value (well, that and a nice arse).

17. What do you drive?
A car

18. Do you have any pets?
I have some pet crabs (itchy and scratchy)

19. Do you live alone?
Only when I am by myself.

20. Do you live in house/apartments?
Yes

21. What do you do in your free time?
I like to cook, and watch TV, maybe play snooker, or play pro tennis. It all depends on my mood really.

22. What is your favorite holiday?
St. Patricks day

23. Do you have any family here?
Why the hell would I have family in Nigeria?

24. What has been the saddest moment of your life?
The saddest day of my life was the day my best friend Jack drowned. Apparently he had won a trip on this ship in a card game. So anyhoo, he gets this trip of a lifetime on this ship, and won't you believe it, he meets the love of his life! Well, a couple of days into the journey and the ship hit an ice berg. The idiot died by drowning.

Don't worry about me though, My Heart Will Go On.

25. How many relationship have you been in?
What do you mean by relationships? How long must you be with someone before it is considered a relationship? Does 4 hours count as a relationship?

26. In the relationships you have been in, do you ever think about what they are doing in there life now?
No, why the hell would I?

27. Do you consider yourself very sexual?
Hell yeah! Leather, whips, chains...bring it ON!

28. What has been the craziest thing you have ever done?
This one time I was having sex right, and we were really going at it. It was incredible. At first I was on top, and then she winked at me and I knew she wanted to get on top of me instead. So we roll over, and she is now on top of me. I could see she was really enjoying herself. I turned my head to the side, and I notice out the corner of my eye there is a piece of string just lying there on the bed! I couldn't believe my luck. It was a beautiful black 3 weave nylon string. I reached over, and grabbed hold of that string...at that very moment I pushed her off me and just stared at the string. I couldn't believe my luck! So, not really a crazy moment, but an AWESOME one!!

29. What do you do for fun?
Collect string....and cheese.

30. Do you like public intimacy?
I do indeed. Unfortunately the strangers I try be intimate with don't like it as much.

31. How long have you been married?
Who said I was married?? Why do you say such a thing?

32. What's being married like?

33. How do you treat your lady?
I treat my lady like I treat a fine piece of string...I am gentle, yet firm...I try not tie it into knots. And I like to keep it clean and in a cabinet (the string, not the lady).

34. Why do you need a lady?
For the same reasons that any man needs a lady...sandwiches, beer and a clean house.

35. What is love to you?
Love is like a box of chocolates.

36. Would you hit your lady for any reasons?
Only if she was really annoying (or if she touched my string collection!)

Anyway, It was lovely to hear from you again Evette.

Am awaiting your reply!

Don't forget to send me more pictures. I want to see some pictures of you in Nigeria, that would be AWESOME!

Thinking of you too you spunky monkey,

Capt. Shaun

I mentioned a couple times in my reply that I want to see pictures of Evette in Nigeria. This will be interesting as to whether that request is even acknowledged, and if so, what pictures will I be sent. My guess is that the scammer will give some excuse about not having a camera with "her".

I will post again when I get my next response from Evette.

(part 2)