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This is one of the funniest jokes I have read in a long time.

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided
to
grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting
next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green,
red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager
had enough, he sarcastically asked, ‘What’s the matter old man, never done
anything wild In your life?’

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

‘Got drunk once and fucked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.’

Pictures of moments frozen in time: how you would describe any photograph I guess. But these are true classics.

I know these pictures have done the rounds, I have received them by email many times now over the years. However, I still get a good laugh everytime I see them. So, in the unlikely even that you haven’t seen them…or if you just wanna have a look at them again, here you go.

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Employee :”Hello ‘dis is   Siphos’s  bakery, how can I help you?” 
Customer :”I would like to order a cake for a party this week, please.” 
Employee :”What you want written on da cake”
Customer :”Best Wishes Suzanne” and underneath that “We will miss you”
Employee :”OK is that all? Okay, come to collect in 3 days, ma’am.”

THREE DAYS LATER

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Check out this classic photos…why not to take your kids to the zoo…

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In the months following 9/11, there was a big information push from the US Government about being more aware of terrorists/terrorism, and what to do to avoid terrorist actions. One of these information portals was the site http://www.ready.gov. Below are some actual images from the site during this period (I can’t find them there anymore). Here are some possible interpretations as to what they might mean…

If you have set yourself on fire, do not run

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Long ago, even before Clint, in the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practised every minute of his spare time but he knew that he wasn’t yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. (more…)

This is a genuine complaint to Devon & Cornwall Police Force from an angry member of the public

True email sent to the force, lengthy but brilliantly written…..
Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service,

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead.

Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in St Marys Crescent, which is just off St Marys Road in Bodmin.

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